#what's left if i stop huh
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Hi! i rlly enjoy ur comics! howd u got started doing diary comics and what keeps you motivated to draw them?
Hey thanks a lot !
when i started i was mainly inspired by cooler people than me doing similar things;
Boulet's blog , not daily and in a pretty different vibe, still already made me think making comics about your life could be cool & funny (tbh autobio comics blogs were pretty popular on the french internet in general at the time & there were many more of them, but i didn't dig enough back then so boulet was my main ref )
@lucieebrey's Muggy Ebes daily comic diary at the time was absolutely my main inspiration ( and tbh i've ended up drifting towards her style evenmore over the years, square-format often-4-panelled animal-headed schmuck type )( absolutely not a bad thing but i hope im not ripping it off too much huuuh )
(her blog is a recent new one and doesn't have those comics, but you can see a sample of them on her website ! )
very similarly, @kochalka's American Elf is a massive classic of the genre, big inspiration for lucie ebrey in the first place too i believe (and many others), and while i'm not sure i knew those when i got started i found & read them afterwards and they def fed into it
as for MOTIVATION oof huh;
i honestly don't know anymore how i did it when i started, it was in hopes of getting better & making something then, so i had enough motivation to fuel it going in, and probably forced myself a bit extra to set the habit. (if you wanted to start a similar daily project, i think it's really mostly about powering through the first few weeks or months ! after that it sorta becomes a background thing)
but now ?? it's honestly mainly the habit, as well as an arguably unhealthy approach to it : now that i'm that far in i'm both used to doing it AND really don't want to break the streak. not really thinking about it too much anymore AND unwilling to consider stopping
also a pinch of "currently i'm and have been in a big dump creatively and this is the last real project-type thing i have going and i HAVE to hold on to it"
I wish i had a cool answer about how these are very meaningful and important to me and a huge part of how i see the world and i keep drawing them for that kinda cool reasons but HONESTLY i'm just not that deep.
i'm making those because i do & i'm somehow not done yet
( to be more positive about it it's also just neat to do most times and i still have an absurd amount of progress to make still so who knows where it could go when i can manage to start evolving again. i'd like to see )
#bla bla bla#long#ask#bit of a messy answer sorry#also late.#i also haven't forgotten what i was saying ! about making an FAQ post !! i just didn't get back to it#i will#see;;;;; these comics are kinda the ONLY thing i can decently keep going to some extent. so like#what's left if i stop huh
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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nightmare viewing the murder time three as little toys but more in like a little spoiled kid kinda way. because it would be funny and if you take into the account that he was like 6 before getting corrupted and do some mental loopholes it would be even funnier. like these are his dolls (killer dust and horror) and this is their barbie dreamhouse (his castle). they all have to stay in one room because nightmare needs to keep his toys in a toy box. the toys only ever come out when he wants to play but oh damn it they keep on breaking out!! silly toys,,, and then he locks them into the room again.
nightmare serves them food with plastic tea cups and plastic plates and there is no food. there is no tea. they have to imagine the food because dolls can't literally eat. there are food containers and stuff in the house but its all just a bunch of empty boxes. horror starts tweaking out after he scavenges the kitchen and finds a cereal box and milk carton that have NOTHING in it (why keep empty boxes?????)
they have to go where he wants them to go. nightmare gets to dress them up in whatever he wants because theyre his dolls they can wear anything he wants. it gets incredibly embarrassing when the trio is forced to wear pink pretty dresses and fight like that. or they have to go around the castle doing stupid fucking roleplays and it gets weird because theyre being forced to reenact a bullying scene and nightmare's giving them the death stare if they don't get it right (is this projection. this must be some form of coping mechanism dust theorizes)
and then you know nightmare's not exactly the best toy owner so he loses a few of his dolls here and there. maybe they get destroyed when he was playing a bit too rough with them! (killer dies in battle for like the 29th time) but its okay because he can just go back on down to the store (something new) and buy. wait no. steal another doll and then put it back in his dreamhouse and BOOM he has a full set again!! so sweet so cute. his dolls don't have consciousness what are you talking about theyre begging to be let go?? that's all just your imagination. what do you mean you're asking about the several slowly dying bodies with removed arms or legs in his dungeon. oh that's just where the broken but not yet destroyed toys go dw theyre fine its humane
#toy story but evil#imagine nightmare dresses the trio up in dreamtale esque clothes and then forces them to pretend to be his parents#because the stupid shit grew up parentless and now that he has dolls he can just roleplay that now#or he could just make the trio roleplay as a family. one parent two children. huh i wonder where i've heard this before#he's still like totally smart with all the multiversal plans and conquering and manipulation and all that#just that he's still got a bit of childish charm in him yk.🥺🥺🥺 he's sweet and cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺#killer says as he tries not to go insane from being stuck in a room with dust amd horror for weeks on end#nightmare has no sense of boundary for the trio because theyre just little toys for him#if he wants them to change clothes he strips them because dolls cant change by themselves#if he wants them to move a specific way he maneuvers them because dolls cant movs on their own#nightmare's messing around and has all his dolls in the splits because who hasnt done that#dust and horror are in so much pain. killer just feels humiliated#these are GROWN MEN you are objectifying here nightmare. LITERALLY objectifying. but irs okay its funny#dadmare but instead of nightmare being the dad he's the kid. while also simultaneously having all the power#this would go for a sick ass plotline if someone made a fic for it#it aint gonna be me 🤣🤣 but like.... trio has to convince nightmare to stop treating them like goddamn dolls#and nightmare has to change his stupid little kiddy mentality while also they all have to just get on better terms in general#so stupidn so dumb. would the mtt hate eachother during all this. quite possibly#three crazy freaks trapped in one room for unknown amounts of time. homoerotic arguments must have occured#they must know stuff about eachother that they don't wanna know. they all know what they look like naked#nightmare is the leading cause of mtt deaths because he just doesn't know how to properly handle his toys#oops he says as he accidentally breaks horror's neck and dust and killer watch on. guess its time to get a new one!#and he gleefully skips off to horrortale while dust and killer are left with the dusting beheaded body. what a fun time#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#tricule rant
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i really like tumblr bc despite its reputation i get way less annoying people being clowns on my posts on tiwtter i can mention literally anything i dont like about totk and you bet theres some guy that either gets really salty about me not worshipping the game like a god that can do no wrong or straight up get mad about what they IMAGINED i said
#ganondoodles talks#thankfully its not many#but still more than here#and yes i block people over that bc i dont need a clown spamming my notifications#“sounds like you just want more content”#HUH#they added TWO more map layers but me saying they could have left the shrines or titans models in the game is asking for too much more???#the shrines/titans where ALREADY IN THERE just leave them in there and slap a green moss texture on it#me saying hey wouldnt this be cool to do with the titans after they stop funtioning is demanding more content#but ah yes id love colelcting even mroe than a thousand krog seed or hundreds of mayoi signa or 15 copies of the same vaguely dif link oufi#i dont need to have 500 options of items to glue to my arrows#making me scroll endlessly to find the item i need#im fine with 5 actually#soemtimes less is more#i want to bite some people#and i wish i had the confidence some of these have#just going on other peoples posts and loudly blaring in their face of what they think you said but 100% didnt#at least have the courtesy of making your own post to complain isntead of yelling it in my face#what do you think it will do?#lol#anyway#thanks for being much more bearable tumblr#ily <3
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this keeps me up at night btw.
#mipha#botw#loz breath of the wild#TWICE??? SHE DID IT TWICE??????? AND WE'RE JUST GONNA MOVE PAST THAT????????? literally NO one else has been said to be able to do this#and like. hm. is it. is it... love??#like you know how zelda and her powers are implied to work the same. they focus on protecting the one(s) they love & their powers activate#(i know people theorise that mipha was going to tell zelda her power works when she thinks about link but i've always thought she was going#to say that it works when she thinks about saving the person under her care. because it doesnt really make sense to me that her healing#would work for other people if she was only focused on saving link you know? so i've always thought it was just 'saving the people i love')#and zelda is technically able to do this with link after he wakes up and he's the only person her powers woke for#so does this work maybe like an inverse or an extension of how their powers usually work? like instead of it just being their love for the#other person it's the other person/people's love or reciprocated love for them. zelda & link are implied to have really only had each other#but mipha. mipha had a family and a whole kingdom. she was connected to nearly all of them when she passed and both these events#are said to have taken place shortly after she fell. in the dlc she asks link to pass on a message to sidon for her implying that she#can no longer speak to him as she once could. perhaps that's just her power waning over time but if you think about it in the context#of how the domain is slowly losing people who knew her and those who remain only remember her for what she did for them rather than who#she truly was then could she have stopped being able to connect with them because there was no one left who loved her as they once did.#loved her for who she was.#was she in vah ruta reaching out for her father and brother and realising slowly that they were forgetting her#... 'do not cry. just remember' huh.#freya talks loz#so consumed by mipha thoughts i forgot my own tag
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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HAIRY FUCKING ARMS!!! the crowd goes wild
#shoutout to mika. for the hairy fucking arms#if he ever shaves the arm hair i’ll have to stop supporting him it’s the only thing we’ve got left#what is the ring on his finger is the pic mirrored or sometbing. hello#i assume it’s mirrored. cos like HUH#isaac.txt
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having a crush is like poison status effect whenever u have to think.
#my ocs#hello yes see i draw#I hate this so much ???????#what the fuck ??????#do u know how much effort I have to put in to not think about it. Like. Should I just kill myself at this point tbh.#and there’s people around me who are purposely trying to get a crush for like. Fun. Why.#this is psychological warfare.#though I guess their goals w crush is have one and never speak to him huh 💭 they just want a guy to think about when bored.#This happened to me by accident 💭 and I am. speaking to him often. I didn’t today though. hashtag winning 💪 (?)#I will get over it. I will speak to no one over midterms week and I will get so over him.#and then I will be so normal platonic about it.#this was supposed to happen in highschool I think I was supposed to get comfortable w this way earlier in life.#I don’t know I don’t care I just need to survive this at this point Jesus Christ.#and hey guess what I was just about to start gushing in this tag it snuck up on me wtf.#I do not want him. (<- affirmations)#I can never let anyone have my Tumblr or my art socials ever god imagine. Anyone seeing this.#it would suck so bad. Guys. I would have to kms.#why did I meet the most attractive and nicest and coolest guy immediately. why is this my first friend in 5 years.#sorry that is gushing huh. god this sucks so bad. I hate. having emotions.#well it’s not gushing it’s like objective fact people will not stop saying he’s won the genetic lottery to his face.#And I get crazy 2nd hand embarrassment every time but also not wrong.#they’re not wrong. ugh. killing myself.#guys why does every tag ramble end this way. guys. why. why am I becoming a real boy I want to be a puppet again actually.#ok. normal time 4 minutes left in movie clean bathroom then sneepy time and I will do so good not thinking about him and will sleep immedia
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the kudos to hits ratio is the devil, but i can’t help but calculate it constantly
(not fun, do not recommend)
#pip’s rambles#i need to stop looking at my statistics page#tho when i do get hung up on numbers i imagine myself in a room with the number of people who left a kudos#then i’m like wait that’s actually a bunch of ppl i’d be terrified if i was in there#but it makes me wonder what so many ppl are doing in my fics if they’re not leaving a kudos#you dont need to like it but huh??#like what’s going on in there??
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(kicking my feet) what if i sprinkle some renachrome angst in that vision chrome gets in chapter 11 hidden story
#like what if he sees renata in the vision too but like if renata never left and they spent those 4 years together and they were happy and#like what if in the vision they were in a relationship too huh what then. what does chrome do now HFSGHSGJ#i need to stop hurting him like this but imagineeee#do you think he figures it out here specifically in the vision or maybe after that or do you think in the years they were separated he#had a night where he just couldn't sleep because he was wondering what would have happened if his best friend were still alive and#do you think he laid there listening to renata's old record logs because he missed him and wanted to hear his voice again#do you think he laid there and suddenly thought “i'm in love with a dead man” and then that thought began to stain his entire life onwards#do you guys think that or is it just me#ari.stuffs#now i know i'm worthy.♡
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i do think it's kind of funny that ao3 seems to have made a blanket change to all the "mythology" tags to make them "religion and lore" (not a good change) EXCEPT the "arthurian mythology" tag, which remains intact despite a Number of people trying to get that one reworked or at least different wrangled for ages. they're like "we're taking mythology away from all the contexts where it might be applicable. and leaving it in the context where it's dubious. this is a sensible change"
#Choices Were Made#genuinely very funny that they left that one specifically#extremely annoying that they changed the others#especially the (dubiously correct) use of irish and welsh#when the Norse tag etc does not use any language except english#so it feels weirdly othering#especially because the exact translation of the irish doesn't match the english#like béaloideas is not simply 'lore'. it is far more specific than that.#so it doesn't feel like a carefully thought through change#not to mention “ancient” which. crucially. they have not used for the norse tag#so it's only the irish and welsh material that's ancient huh?? those are not living traditiona to you huh???#it's arbitrary inaccurate and problematic#also can they stop making the Ulster Cycle tag redirect into the general tag please !!!#that's like making captain america redirect into the general mcu tag... it's a venn diagram not a circle...#i want to be able to look for other ulster cycle fics and not scroll through twenty pages of 'assorted fandom plus fairies'#which is what dominates the irish mythology as-was tag and why i never found it browseable#but the new one is like. no actually i am not writing fic of 'ancient irish religion and lore'#that's not at all what I'm writing about#i am writing about medieval irish literature#'irish mythology' was never my favourite tag but god it was better than this
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well i guess i can play bg3 now, assuming it finishes downloading sometime in the next 2 months
#personal#despite following many people who are very into it i still know absolutely nothing about what it's about#like i know the premise of the brain tadpoles but that's it#i definitely need to do something fun after the last few days of supervising peach#(update: after not eating or sleeping for 3 days she is now doing both! she's very hungry and very tired and im very relieved)#but also after the last 6 hrs of just non-stop downloading and installing things. windows is sooo bad for upgrading#all the dai dlc probably has another 20-30 mins left and then ive finished all the da games and also all my modding tools#i think im actually not bothered even transferring my old saves for the da games. i never go back once ive finished a playthrough#i guess the only thing is if i wanna play da2 before next playing dao and have to use a custom worldstate hm#the only other thing is that dao doesnt connect online anymore so i have no achievements or rewards for completing dlc#it wouldnt be too hard to find my user profile file on my old hard drive but i almost wanna start from scratch and see how long it takes#the thing with that tho is that it's probably the worst (or maybe best lmao) game to have my achievements reset#because it takes a minimum of 6 playthroughs to get all achievements (assuming you finish every game you start)#for da2 it's 3 (reach kirkwall with each class) and for dai it's 1#but dao has an achievement for each origin and even other than that there are achievements for filling each ability tree#(min 5 playthroughs of the base game or 3 with awakening) and all romances (4) and all endings (3 i think)#anyway. whatever i'll decide later. the only utility of achievements are the dlc ones that unlock items#huh this is a post about bg3 and i spend most of the time talking about da#anyway bg3 currently says 2 hrs remaining but that'll probably speed up once the dai dlc finishes. only have trespasser left#and whatever tf 'english voice over pack' is??
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so i’ve been rereading ‘magnus chase and the hammer of thor’ as of late n like. obv fierrochase was one of my forever first ships (along with jefferchase ofc) but i was reading like ���oh i didn’t remember that alex also mentioned liking hiking i can’t believe i never wrote a fic abt that” and now my ass is sitting here like. i cannot be writing fierrochase fanfic in 2024
#alli says shit#i mean i CAN who can stop me#i just haven’t written fierrochase fanfic since i was literally in high school#but also literally as recent as yesterday ao3 was telling me someone left kudos on a fierrochase fic of mine#like there is an audience#fun fact i haven’t reread my fierrochase fics in like. forever#i did also realize looking back like. huh. i was writing T4T before i even knew what t4t was
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ack! took off my glasses but still scrumbling. i cannot see
#libra.txt#the way i took off my glasses turned off the light turned back to my computer and all the words disappeared#everything is but a blur of colour#i can barely make out what i'm typing. fortunately i have good muscle memory for where keys are on my keyboard#.....except it's ONLY on this keyboard. i always mess up when i use my mom's laptop (it's bigger than mine and has ten key so#all the letters are scooted over and i always trip up#anyway. blindness. rejoice. (not rejoicing)#oh. turned my brightness down and it helped marginally. fascinating. or maybe not. never mind#stop reading this i'm sleepy and incoherent / nonsensical#woooo forgot how bad the difference was between eyes#cannot read a single thing with my right eye. barely registers that there is a difference between black letters and grey tags#meanwhile i have to pause to let my left eye adjust#so wacky. eyesight. huh.#like i KNOW my left eye has been overcompensating my entire life. but still#this got wayyyy off track. oops. good night
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my god is this unfinished fic i wrote when i was fourteen actually... good?
#i mean its no masterpiece but damn its kinda good#i gotta stop going through old fics. what am i gonna do about it huh. finish writing an eight year old fic?#how wild would it be if i made a left turn and posted a jimon fic in the year 2024 girl i cant#abby.txt
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:)
#not to vent on main but i'm so fucking sick and tired of my sister lmaoooooo#she has never shown me an ounce of kindness or patience or understanding when it comes to ANYTHING#but she's the FIRST to jump to criticise me mercilessly#and then i receive messages like 'your ignorance towards your family is outrageous' like ?????????????#maybe stop and think for a moment WHY i am trying to have as little contact with you as possible#like the THINGS i could tell#about her or my mother or my father#it left my therapist speechless at times lmao#i'm ao tired#the only family members i care about at this point are my aunt and nephew#and - surprise surprise - my sister and her shitty bigoted fiance make the latter so fucking hard for me#like.....#i'll just have to do this for the rest of my life huh??? drag my family around behind me like a rotting corpse#that keeps grabbing and clawing at my ankles and screeches what an awful ungrateful person i am#i want off this ride#:)))))#end me lmao
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